Little Grasshopper

December 16, 2016 would have been my late little sister's 36th birthday.

14 years have passed since I last saw her alive but I still miss her and I am always reminded of her by the people I meet, the shows I watch, the little things I see.

There are times when I would wonder-- what if she was still alive? What would she be doing? I know she would be the richest because she was very prudent with money. I know she would have dragged me 2-3x more than the places I have visited because she was more adventurous. I know she would have talked sense to me whenever I fret or worry because she was level-minded. She was younger than me but that didn't deter her from telling me that me being her senior doesn't mean I will always be right. She was that cheeky but I was not affected because she was also my best friend.

When I was a newbie teacher she shared to me the lessons she learned from her college psychology classes and berated me not to label people as I was prone to do before. Up to now, whenever I look for clothing or a pair of shoes, I'd look at what I had in mind - simple, elegant, simple, beautiful, simple - and so I browse and browse and browse and then in my mind, I would hear her voice saying - "you want something simple yet it's so complicated for you to get it." You see she was always with me when I went shopping before and I would drag her to all the stores before settling to buy.

My sister was practical but funny and a bit of a prankster. She knows how to be "malambing" and she would fetch me from work and let me buy her fries - cheese flavored or sour cream. We'd walk going home. It was a long stretch but that was how we shared more stories even if we were roommates.

She would tell me about her day, her friends and told detailed stories. She told me I was a better storyteller and should I want to write, I should (still in the things to do category for me). Most summers were spent at home cross stitching, reading books or helping mom with her extra income projects.

She was frail when we were young. She was physically small but she grew tough and had a strong mind. She knew what she wanted.

It was a terrible loss when tragedy struck. 

But we were always reminded she is in our midst.

A few days after my sister died,our house was full of grief. But we noticed a little green grasshopper on top of our cabinet where we store our china and where we put our African Violet plants. When we visited the cemetery, we saw again another small green  grasshopper above her tomb.

*Image courtesy of Google Images

Every time there is an important occasion, we saw one. Being Igorots who believe that the grasshopper might represent her visiting, we took special care that we just leave the little insect and not bother or kill it. Sightings of this special creature became less and less as time went by.

When my husband was still my boyfriend, I told him about this little grasshopper thing. I couldn't believe what I saw when he called me to their kitchen one morning and pointed to me a little grasshopper a few days after being married. So, she came to check my new family. This was 6 years ago.

My last visit from our little grasshopper was last year - when I was 2-3 months pregnant and my husband was overseas. I had a delicate first trimester and being separated with my husband for the longest time was a bit difficult to bear. I was also emotional due to my hormones. And that was when our little creature visited me when I was about to cry ( I resist not to so as not to upset Little Pia who was still a nugget in my tummy that time). The little grasshopper was standing on our floor tiles.

When my baby was born last year, she was 33 weeks premature.. a premie just like my late sister. It was tough because we had to spend another week at the hospital, a month after I gave birth and stayed for 12 days for her to be at the NICU, to have her treated this time with aspiration pneumonia. It was hard. I  prayed. And in my mind,  I talked to my sister to be the guardian angel of my child. To be her protector and watch over her. We are blessed since my baby recovered well. Last year, we went out from the hospital on December 16.

So, yes this date - December 16 -the start of simbang gabi and Christmas carols is truly special.. and it always reminds me of our little grasshopper :)

Christmas Stockings

Now that we have our own child, I can understand why parents are very excited in making their children's' Christmas memorable and fun. And this might be the reason why Lola J wanted us to experience an American Christmas in one of the rare times she was with us in the Philippines during the holiday season in the late 80s.

One December night, she asked us, her 6 grandchildren to hang one sock each in the room Jamie and I share with my young brother Mark and sometimes, Jeanne. We somehow suspected that something exciting was about to happen. Jamie and I agreed that we get the longest socks and tacked these on our wall with the stockings of my sibling and cousins. Of course, the younger ones followed suit - we all wanted long and large ones so that what we expected to be placed there will fit. It kinda looked like this but we had ours "thumbtacked".

*Image courtesy of Google Images

And so we waited during bedtime for something to happen. Jamie and I being the oldest, kept our vigil even if it was "lights out". We used to sleep early before-- around 8 pm with 9 pmbeing the latest. Jamie and I agreed to remain awake but I couldn't keep watch so I fell asleep. It was time to wake up when I felt Jamie poking my ribs with her elbow. I didn't know the time but I saw Lola J and mama kneeling infront of our stockings. I can partially see them because of the light from the living room streaming inside our bedroom door. And boy, were they noisy even when they were whispering. 😂

Lola J was instructing mama how much she should put on each sock while she was filling one. We can hear some muffled sounds like candies falling in the socks and on the floor. We were good girls so we kept quiet and went back to sleep when they left.

In the morning, the younger ones were already in our room looking at their socks which woke us up. They were very sure Santa Claus came by last night and gave them the treats which were different types of candies.😍

Lola J was beaming at us as they jumped up and down excitedly. Jamie and I  just kept quiet.. why destroy the excitement? I knew we'd blow it when we destroy the fun and we might not get other stuff on those stockings.😇 😁I knew we had some other gifts stuffed in those socks for 3 consecutive nights but I don't remember them as well as the first night we had the stockings.

Ahh to be young and to be blessed with a loving lola who wants us to experience this thrill! :) That was our first and last experience of hanging our socks.

More Christmas stories to come.

Oh Christmas Tree!

When I was 5 y/o, we did not have a Christmas tree.

We were not well off and a Christmas tree is one of the last things Mama would buy. Sure, we had the traditional shiny "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" bunting but that's about it.

My fascination for Christmas trees was triggered by my cousins' Christmas tree. They were our neighbors and my siblings and I hung out there like everyday.

You could say that their Christmas tree was simple and common around that time but it literally awed the 5 year old me.

It was made of thin stick branches and decorated with foil garland.. and the most amazing of all...candies!

This is my poor sketch of that tree (from my Memory Journal) sans foil garland: 

I was mischievous back then. When no one is looking, I get one of the candies, pop it in  my mouth, suck it and put it back in its wrapper and retie the string where it used to hang. lolz.. I think, my cousins did the same because sometimes, some of the candies are wet and sticky. Eeewww :p Now it's yucky yet funny.. I know it's how I strengthened my immune system. :p

I've been asking my mom to buy a Christmas tree since then and she bought this 2 ft. "pink" foil Christmas tree when I was around 10 and we had it for more than 10 years. I did not like it that much. I wanted something like the "stick" tree which developed to plastic green Christmas tree as I grew older.

The gorgeous Christmas tree displays festooned with glitter and lights at National Bookstore and SM made me, all the more, yearn and long for one in my early adult years.

Finally, my family was able to have a "real" fake Christmas tree where we can put decorations in it was when I was around 23 y/o and working at a stable company. I used part of my Christmas bonus to buy one and it was even on sale. I was so happy and proud of myself. It was wish granted!

We used the beautiful and fancy decors Auntie Francise sent years ago which I used to hang in our windows and ceiling (pre Christmas tree) and I felt it was the most gorgeous tree ever. Sorry can't find an old picture of it.

This year, I got some raves with my Christmas tree that I posted in FB. It's our Pia Christmas Owl Tree. I re-used the decorations I made for my daughter's 1st birthday party early this November to trim our borrowed tree. The theme here is recycled -- since even the materials I used for the owls were from toilet tissue rolls, my niece's stash of eyes and a few old cupcake liners.

BUT - until now, I remember that brown stick tree clearly. The memory of that  Christmas tree (even if it's not ours) reflects important lessons such as:

- happiness is not based on expensive things or stuff.

- a childhood want will inspire you to achieve it.

- parents should strive to give their children happy memories to fall back on :)

Thank you for sharing your tree to us, Tegui-in family :)

Lola's Cream

November 25, 2016 marks the 86th birthday of my late maternal grandmother, Lola Juanita.

So many thing  evoke plenty of heartwarming memories with her. One of these always come up whenever I rub Vicks Baby Balsam on my baby daughter Pia's chest and back. I usually do this when she starts to have the sniffles and colds.

This act always bring me back when me, my siblings and cousins lived in one roof.  That was from 1985 to 1989 and our ages would range from 7 to 3 y/o until I was 11 y/o and the youngest was 7. 

Lola would be in the country annually for 2-3 months. During rainy or cold days or when she senses that some of us were beginning to develop colds, she would be sitting in the sofa by bedtime. She would all call us one by one. She asks us to kneel and place our head on her lap while she rubs her magic cream.ks.

* images courtesy of Google Images


I remember that I always anticipate the cold feeling when she puts her cream mixture first on my back. But her warm hand makes it soothing and relieving when she rubs it. She takes her time and doesn't rush even if we were 6 children. I remember particularly how she give more time to rub her cream on my frail little sister's back.

I recently researched Noxzema and it is supposedly cleansing cream. That's odd being rubbed on our chest and backs with Vicks. 

But then, it doesn't matter at all. Lola's cream has soothed and made us feel snug and warm while we slept. 

Happy Birthday, Lola Juanita! :) Memories of those cold nightly rituals still comfort me even after after 11 years since you joined Lolo with our Creator. Our cold bedtime ritual will live on with Pia sans Noxzema. :

Color My World 3

I have tried to research on some coloring techniques for flowers and I came up with this. A friend called it  my best so far. I used lighter shades of colors and blended some greens.

 After which, I shifted to another coloring set - Animal coloring pages from my aunt which I scanned. This is my first output from that set: 

Now, I shifted again to my coloring fans

The one below took me more than a month to finish it, having to hold it off every now and then. I wanted to experiment using jelly pens and putting some dots and lines in the illustration because the leaves and some of the wings are so large and devoid of some patterns.

I am very proud of this output since I devoted so much time experimenting on it and many liked the techniques I used.

I am planning to color mandalas next time,.,..But, as of now, I am on a break to rest  my eyes, I am planning get more ideas from the Net to make the mandalas more interesting.

On Unanswered and Answered Prayers

PRELUDE TO THE ACTUAL BLOG ENTRY:

There was a time before when my blog contained most of my musings, thoughts and feelings. That was more than 12 years ago in Tabulas where I met 2 of my closest online friends including Roselle of Snapped and Scribbled.

When I decided to have this blog I thought of creating something that's more positive and I avoided personal topics but having read some of Maine Mendoza's blog kind of reminded me of my previous Tabulas blog where I blurt out what I feel and think without thinking what other people might think of me. She is an eloquent and expressive writer... I became curious of her since I watch Aldub videos every night to make me laugh and make this pregnancy fun and light--- have to be happy and not stressed according to friends :) 

So, going back, I am going to put more personal thoughts in this blog like I did before.

THE ACTUAL ENTRY:

Reading about blogs on  love gone wrong and the feeling of  helplessness and "dying" because your dreams of forever with that person has died kind of reminded me when I had my first broken heart. I wasn't that young already since I was in my 20's but it hurt a lot. Even if my claim on that relationship is 4-6 mos. only. Hahaha!

I was crazy in the aftermath and had a fleeting  of "I will wait you for you" drama even if I knew that I was dumped and it wasn't even a good relationship to begin with and with someone who barely shows who he is. I guess, I was tortured by my emotional investment. I prayed to God that I hope one day he bangs his head and realizes his mistake of letting me go.

There was even a point that I posted  the video of Sarah Geronimo's "I still believe in loving you"  and a friend cringed and commented "For heaven's sake, don't!".  I felt embarrassed by the comment but it was a wake up call to STOP holding on to my one sided and blind feelings.

So I went on with my life  and made sure I had some adventures and take risks in my career, in my masters and other aspects of my life. My prayers changed and I was asking God that if ever He will give me someone new to love I hope he would love me back in return. But I was not really that keen into having a new relationship. I was so focused on my career.

But God, has heard my prayers..so after 3 years, I met my bestfriend, my sweetheart, my husband and my lover. It was good He did not answer my prayers on getting back with the first one I prayed for but He did answer my petition on a new love. I got so much more than what I asked for, 

2 years ago my husband introduced me to Gath Brook's song - Unanswered Prayers and it all sums up how I felt with him... until now that we're about to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary about  a week from now. =)

So for those who are dying from broken hearts .. just wait... magdasal, enjoy life, accomplish more in life and darating din sya..... sa tamang panahon ;)

Crossing stitches 1

Since I have been recommended by my OB to take it easy,  I've been coloring adult coloring books and doing nontoxic crafts.

One of these crafts I went back to make is cross stitching.

The first one I made is a baby announcement for my niece, Mia who just came out into this world last September 20.

I downloaded my pattern from the Internet and prepared my Aida cloth by outlining the lines so that I can easily finish my project.

If there is one thing I re-learned while pregnant is to be resourceful and creative. My mother in law has a lot of threads she bought overseas in garage sales so I did not use the actual colors specified substituted the nearest colors based on their descriptions.

I started with the bear and proceeded from there.

This is my finished project. I asked my sister-in-law to stitch the date of birth and weight of my niece after she gives birth in Canada.

My second project is a home decor for another sister-in-law who resides in Australia. Like my first project, i substituted the colors in the pattern. This is the final output:

Right now, I am working on another project but for me and my family this time. :)